Too Late
by Miyagi-Chihane
Summary: [yaoiMitMiya] Until when can one go on hoping? And when must one finally admit defeat? One-shot. Angst. C&C pls.


Mitsui gave the cream-colored parchment one last look before he threw it into the trashcan. The wedding invitation had just arrived in the mail that day among several bills and junk mail. Suffice to say, Mitsui liked seeing the bills better. 

_Ryota's wedding_, Mitsui pondered. He didn't know the girl and he didn't care. Mitsui cursed. Did that idiot think that he would actually show up? 

Mitsui glanced at the trashcan. The invitation was more than a piece of perfumed paper; it formally ended his five long years of hoping. Five years of trying to convince himself that the decision he had made back then was the wrong one. Now he knew that he was right, after all. 

Maybe it was his fault too. He took advantage of the one point in Miyagi's life where he was most vulnerable: Ayako had dumped him. To Mitsui, it was an inevitable event, but it had crushed poor Miyagi's heart. It didn't surprise Mitsui, since he knew that Miyagi practically built his whole life around Ayako. Never had Miyagi seemed so lost and Mitsui didn't like seeing him that way. Mitsui's intentions had been friendly at the start, but the way Miyagi had clung onto him like he was his only saving grace was heart moving. Mitsui had found himself getting possessive. _No, no one was going to hurt Ryota ever again. _He had liked feeling that way. In fact, he had liked all the feelings he was starting to develop towards Miyagi. One night he confessed his feelings for Miyagi and the latter accepted him, just like that. 

There had always been doubts at the back of Mitsui's mind that Miyagi was just on rebound, but he had shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind. But the signs kept coming until he could ignore them no further. 

Mitsui couldn't pretend that Miyagi was not recovering. Mitsui had known all along that Miyagi was still in love with Ayako. He still looked at her the way he did before and he still tried to impress her like before. And one day, Mitsui woke up to one horrifying thought: He couldn't go on this way. Miyagi had built his life around Ayako. A life he refused to demolish to build a new one again. Mitsui had convinced himself that Miyagi never loved him anyway and that he had just been desperate and lonely. You can't trust straight guys to be serious about having a relationship. 

Mitsui let Miyagi go. He pretended to be cold as he told Miyagi that they were through. He pretended not to give a damn even when Miyagi, silent, was on the verge of tears. _They're not real tears,_ Mitsui reminded himself. He decided that it was just Miyagi's twisted way of being polite. Then he left, went off to college and never spoke to Miyagi again. 

Mitsui did not attend the wedding. There had been an article on the newspaper about it though, because the girl was the daughter of a business tycoon. 

A year had passed by after the wedding and Mitsui hadn't heard from Miyagi. Ch. _Why would he want to talk to you anyway?_ Mitsui thought wryly, as he finished another beer can. _He must be happy now. He's got a wife, and all the wealth in world. Boy, he must be really happy that he got rid of me. Well, I'm happy I got rid of him too! _

Mitsui stood up and staggered towards the kitchen. He knew he was failing horribly at lying to himself. He loved Miyagi and maybe he still does, but he found that hate could make it hurt less so he hated until he was numb with it. He knew it had consumed him but he didn't care. Hating was better than moping around hurt and depressed. 

Mitsui opened the fridge. _Shit, I don't have any beer left_. He closed the refrigerator door and went back into the living room. He looked at the empty cans of beer scattered on the table and floor with disgust but he didn't bother to pick them up. 

_I guess I have to go to the grocery store. _

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- 

"Mitsui?" 

Mitsui had been browsing through the alcohol section when he heard a familiar voice call him. He had no problem recognizing the voice and the guy it belonged to. As Mitsui came face-to-face with Miyagi, Mitsui wondered how Miyagi recognized him. He knew his hair was sticking out in all directions, he hadn't shaved or had any decent sleep in a week and he wore wrinkled clothes, which haven't been washed recently. Nonetheless, he still ran a hand through his hair and nonchantly said, "You haven't changed…much Miyagi." 

And he was right, sort of. Miyagi was wearing a simple shirt and jeans, as opposed to a suit that Mitsui expected from a son-in-law of a business tycoon. The earring, that had made him so unique, was gone. In his arms was a little boy, roughly the age of 1. 

_Shit! He has a son!_ "What are you doing here?" 

"Buying diapers? We've run out." 

"Don't you have servants to do it for you?" 

"Ah… my wife and I like to live within our means." 

_Wife? Geez, did he have to rub it in?_ Mitsui looked at Miyagi as the latter shifted his son in his arms. Miyagi was trying to hide his discomfort but was failing miserably. Mitsui's anger started to boil again. _Sheesh, if he can't stand talking to me, why didn't he just say so?_ Mitsui grabbed a six-pack off-the-shelf and gave Miyagi a civil nod. "I have to go." 

Miyagi returned the nod. "It was… nice seeing you." 

_Yeah, right._ "You too," Mitsui mumbled and was about to leave when he saw the kid staring at him. He turned towards Miyagi. "What's the kid's name?" 

To this, Miyagi gave Mitsui a small, sad smile. "Same as yours."

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- 

Minna, please C&C. Criticisms are accepted. I just didn't want to leave the fandom with the poorly done ending I did in Going For Broke so my mind kicked in and I came up with this ficlet. Oh right, to those who read Going For Broke, I _WILL_ be revising the last chapter. I'm currently writing a new ending right now. Hope it will be better than the last one. 

Oh right. My second attempt at Angst since my first one was err… not that good. Anonymous reviews accepted ^__^ and thanks for reading ^___^


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